Why would The Creator do this? Had he not just cleaved the world into Flappers like myself — people learned in The Way of the Flap — and non-Flappers, lost souls doomed to navigate life on their own?
This seemed unfair. Unjust. Unhelpful to someone trying to forge a marketable philosophy based on a video game.
Then I saw the genius behind The Creator’s decision to remove Flappy Bird from this world. He gave it to us briefly, so that some would learn The Way. Then he took it away, confident that we Flappers would share our knowledge with those who had never tapped a flap.
And that is why I’m here today, my flapless friends. To teach you The Way of the Flap. To remind you to persevere (flap-flap), even when obstacles appear (FAIL).